Knowledge is Power

Is anyone else completely addicted to wikipedia? I find myself whiling away hours of potential work time learning about the indigenous tribes of Bhutan; or the minutiae of Schrodinger's quantum theory. As sad and as damning on my current social life as it sounds, is knowledge a drug? And no, I'm not talking in some kind of quasi-metaphorical and poncey terms. I just think that with the internet so readily available, it's depressingly easy to find yourself spending days, weeks, going from page to page, sifting through the murk of the web to find pub ammo ad nauseum.

You can tell who's been swotting up on the net as soon as you walk in the King's Head on a weeknight:

-You know, it's funny you should talk about the Dalai Lama Dave, 'cause Tibet's actually an autonomous region of China, including the old western region of Kham!

Don't get me wrong- I'm all for intelligent conversation- I even drink Staropramen occasionally- but this kind of quote-all crap has to go, or at least be flagged up.

-So what do you reckon should happen in Tibet then Alan? You reckon we should be boycotting the Olympics?

-Er...

You can always tell a 'wikism' because it usually veers off at such a tangent from the rest of the conversation as to render it a verbal atoll. It will be frequently backed up with a quick sip of Fosters and a trip to the gents' room:

-You watch the United game yesterday Dick?

-Yeah pretty fucking good game eh?! And you know what else, only Spurs have won the cup as non-leaguers, in 1901.

-Yeah that's interesting mate, doesn't that fit in with their run of winning cups in years ending in the number 1?

-Yeah yeah totally, and it was then (sip sip)...that they won the cup then...anyway mate I need a fucking slash, can you get these in?

Note: The wikism is always followed by as colourful and alpha-male language as possible, so as to cover up said faux-pas. Rating a nearby female is a favourite get-out tool of the wikidickhead. Do not be fooled. Spot the wikidickhead and eradicate him from society. A cheeky Stella all over the Thomas Pink is the best way, apparently (and that's not a euphemism either, I promise).

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I finally found, in my infinitely flawed wisdom, the greatest mp3 website on the planet today- www.hypem.com has the digital music world scoured for every last b-side, remix and instrumental from a massive range of mp3 blog sites. It's like a price comparison website for, well, cheapskates who don't want to pay for their music. So, in my joy I managed to get pretty much every Blood Red Shoes track I'd been looking for recently. Tapedeck appear to be the latest Hoxton pin-ups right now, and you can get quite a few of their tunes and remixes for the site, all of which are interesting, if not a bit Dr Mario (Crystal Castles' Xxcuxzeme surely takes that award- shit).

Still, they can all go and kiss Late of the Pier's fetid y-fronts. I'm still finding old bootlegs and lives from the Castle Donnington foursome, and each one is a thing of throwback pop beauty. See them live see them live see them live. If you want some perspective, have a listen to Tubeway Army. Gary 'he's got a pilot's license! Great' Numan's mixture of post-punk and avant-electro perfectly mirrors today's manic obsession with all things moog.

Oh, and Leroy Lita's not bad either. More of that another time...