Wintertime

Ach, don't you hate the winter? No, neither do I really. Football, Christmas, New Year, my birthday of course. And as my girlfriend pointed out, better clothes.

No cricket, no sun, no barbeques, getting to and coming back from work under the cover of darkness. No summer holidays, no beaches, no girls in short skirts, football in the pissing rain, another inevitable season of misplaced optimism and even more misplaced transfer wodge at Charlton. Is winter really all it's cracked up to be? Would it be better if we lived on the equator and had no seasons?

Nah. There's nothing like the winter mist draped over a cobbled London street (though in my recollection it's more like farts drifting over a crackhead). And what about the snow which falls properly about once every five years, eh? That's good, right? Then there are all the great presents you get at Christmas- the socks, the Parker pens, the rubber chickens (seriously).

The great British summer? Bollocks. Everyone but me pretending they like cricket, watching a major football tournament where England are either absent or bereft of talent, sweating on the tube. We didn't get mods, punks, indieboys, teddys or goths from Billabong shorts and an All Saints vest, eh?

I know we all ove going abroad, chilling on a beach, burning our skin until it has the texture of sandpaper. But we British are descended from the Vikings, the Celts, the Angles and Saxons. And none of them were lying in beach huts at midday sipping coconut juice- they were huddled round fires chugging beer and wine, chatting shit and trying to shag anything that moved. So come on guys, get back to your roots and relish the Great British Winter- it's what we were made to do!

A short list for you this time, mainly 'cos I shouldn't be writing this now, but really 'cos I can't be arsed:

Roots Manuva - Let the Spirit (Hot Chip remix)
Noblesse Oblige - 4am
Le Le - Hard
Lo Fi Fnk - Want U
Youthmovies - Become an Island
Hello, Kate!! - Don't Panic (feat. Olivia Hanssen)
King Cannibal - Arigami Style
Tic Tac - Conspiracy Theory

Adios.